Saved By the Bell

I was a fairly talented trumpet player during my high school days. That's not important, except to lead in to another crazy teacher story.

There was a guy named Mr. Gamble who taught me music from seventh through ninth grade. He was a decent trumpet player in his own right. He also had a truly fantastic temper. One time, he threw a music stand at a kid. He was never above yelling, and he often turned a bright shade of red. Imagine an early 90s Bob Knight directing a fairly poor middle school band, and there you are.

Not surprisingly, this fellow also had some issues with his blood pressure. He resigned as our band director after his doctor informed him that teaching music to poor musicians was going to kill him.

But my favorite Gamble story is this one. During the course of a very poor dress rehearsal in the school auditorium, something inside Mr. Gamble blew. The yelling was par for the course. The cursing was little more than average. His face reddened - again, that was normal. But there was more.

He began to stomp his feet, a strange way to emphasize count one of the measure. At some point during the stomping and carrying on, his foot landed precariously on the corner of the directors' platform. He fell backwards. He reached for a music stand - a music stand! - to hold himself up, but it was hopeless. He fell on his back and rolled a little bit. Then to our horror, and certainly his own - he fell six feet from the auditorium stage to the hard floor below.

It was like living in a Home Alone movie. He landed with a grunt, then all was silent. Some of us thought we'd just watched a man die. Our gaze turned toward the music stand that was falling in a sort of slow motion. It caught him right in the crotch. There was really nowhere else for it to go.

The ensuing, droning, utterly audible curse word assured us that this man was, in fact, still alive.

He clambered back onto the stage and addressed a collective of horrified teenagers, specifically the baritones, I believe:

"If you don't come in on count one, and that happens again - I'm not going to survive that twice."