There's No Subject That Could Possibly Serve This

I've been in ministry for more than six years now, and after six years, it's tempting to think that, perhaps, I've seen it all. It's tempting to think that I've seen the absolute best and worst the church has to offer. Let's say that that's half-true. Your job is to figure out which half. Sonseed here is like the Partridge Family without the rough edges:



This melodious cacophony features a too-many-singers-background-section and the kind of lyrics you would expect from - well I don't even know how to end that sentence.  Try on this section:

Once I tried to run

I tried to run and hide

But Jesus came and found me

And he touched me down inside

Please be aware that it gets worse.  Way worse:

He is like a mountie*

He always gets his man

And he'll zap** you any way he can

zap

* Really, a mountie?  I'm supposed to believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, the Light, the Lion and the Lamb, and that he is also - coincidentally - traditional, horse-mounted Canadian law enforcement?

** This is not sound theology.

Lastly, I'd like to state that I am 80% sure that that's Kip on lead guitar.

--

Updated: I added the "Bad Church Sign" label because I am certain that this church has a real doozy in the front lawn.  I guarantee it.