A Homage to a Great Man

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to volunteer at the Catalyst One Day event when it came to South Bend. Essentially, it featured a couple of famous pastors speaking about church strategy. The fantastic thing about things like this is that famous pastors are almost never famous by any real standard of fame,* although a number of people seem to mistake them for rock stars.

*As far as actually famous pastors go, I came up with this list: Joel Osteen, Rick Warren (maybe), Billy Graham, and then Jim Jones. So, it's really a toss-up about whether that's even a good thing to be.

Anyway, this post isn't about that, and it's certainly not a homage to Craig Groeschel or Andy Stanley.

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Every once in a while, a man gets to live the dream. A few weeks ago, I had that opportunity. Unfortunately, it was someone else's dream.

I was given a special task. I had to go to Krispy Kreme at like 6:45 in the morning to pick up the conference order - 47 boxes of glazed donuts. I wish you could understand the aroma that they left in my car for about a week-and-a-half. I'm serious. The air in the car had the caloric content of a half-gallon of whole milk.

And so I come to the Drawing Board today to pay tribute* to the man whose dream I lived, while he merely dreams of living. May you be so fortunate one day, my friend.

* Check the labels, dude.

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I've always wondered* how a person might be perceived as he was ordering such a quantity of donuts. How would people look at me? What would they think? Would I be judged? Would I be revered?

*Not really.

But most of all, I wondered what exactly the cashier would say to me. Then she said it.

"Can I get you anything else today?"

47 dozen donuts? That ought to do it.

I wish I would have had the foresight to have asked for about four gallons of milk, 12 rolls of toilet paper, an hour-and-a-half in the corner, and an insulin enema.