Elm Grove, WI

Last summer, I rode a bicycle from Chicago, IL to Devil's Lake, ND. Since I've never written about the adventure, and since it was a long December as far as temperatures went, I thought January might be a good time to talk about summer 2008. January is Bike Month at the Drawing Board.

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We rolled happily into Wisconsin down a number of cute little bike trails. Trouble was, the crushed gravel trails were never designed to accomodate my skinny little road bike. Paul and I dashed off down the streets, hopeful to meet the rest of the group in just a little bit. Later, we found the place that our paths intersected and waited for the group to catch up. We stopped for a quick sit and I checked my voicemail quickly enough to learn that my house had sold.*

* It wasn't until several weeks later that I learned I'd been Punk'd; a cruel joke that still haunts me today. Freakin' house. New roof and everything.

We coasted through Racine, which was a particularly beautiful little town and is most notably the home of Tony Romo.* The place gave me the opportunity to watch a drawbridge do what a drawbridge does. I'm certain my eyes held the wonder of a child. Then I almost killed myself trying to cross the thing, so it was kind of a win-lose.

* Wikipedia also tells me it's the birthplace of a man who goes by the name "Max Hardcore."  He makes, um, movies.

Later on, we took a detour to visit the Bohner Botanical Gardens. They'd been recommended by our sweatshop boss back at the fan factory in Zion. We stopped to visit and nearly crashed a wedding. Instead, we snuck in the back and took pictures of a tree. It was the only thing that obscured us from the ceremony.

We were woefully off-track from our destination of Elm Grove, but in fairness, our map was off-track from the destination as well. Eventually we found the place - the story is more frustrating than interesting - and grabbed showers at the community pool.  Then it was time to eat too much spaghetti,* play ping-pong, and curl up for the night.

* Another fantastic dish.  Here's the recipe:

1.) Too much noodles.

2.) Too much sauce.

3.) Too much meat.

4.) Too much powdered parmesan cheese.

It was this night that I discovered the magic of a cold-prevention product called Airborne, which is as potent, effective, and quick-acting as a med kit in a Duke Nukem* video game.

* Remember that? Yeah, me neither. Yikes.

Elm Grove was a suburb of Milwaukee, sprawling and well-maintained and entirely forgettable. It's the kind of place where neighborhoods hire snipers to take care of the deer that might occasionally peek in the windows. There were some nice trees, plenty of nice people, and far fewer cows than Wisconsin would have you expect. I fell asleep thinking the morning couldn't come soon enough, and then there it was, way too early, like it almost always is.

The a.m. brought the greatest discovery of all, however.  I found some kid's Sunday School project hanging from the wall: