I Shot Myself in the Eye with the Cork from a Bottle of Wine

Kids, listen to your parents. Alcohol is dangerous.

Just like Red Rider BB Guns.

Northern Blogging II

When I'm driving around, I'll station-surf the radio; it's an easy way to build a random and only occasionally good playlist. But it's also Christmas, and that's the only time you can listen to Angels We Have Heard on High, then What Child Is This?, then The First Noel, then Come on Eileen.

Other highlights from Christmas Day:

• Waking up very confused as people explained to me that I had, in fact, fallen asleep while wearing my tie.
• Coffee, and more coffee.
• Watching a toddler eat my bread.
• My dad's new PS2.

Northern Blogging

A few highlights from Christmas Eve at Calvary:

• Lighting bags of dirt on fire to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
• Music at 7:00 and 8:30.
• Learning that "What Child Is This" has multiple choruses, but that these aren't printed in the hymnal. They are therefore not on the visual slides that I run.
• Jumping jacks in Todd's office to keep the blood flowing.
• Visiting Starbucks at 1:00 am Christmas morning.
• Getting really excited about Christmas.

Playlist Monday

Playlist Monday is a weekly feature at the Drawing Board. Once a week I post one playlist from home, more or less, at random. For special occasions, I'll post a themed track list.

Christmas Music
This week, I'm bringing ten of my favorite Christmas songs. Please note that one of these songs isn't actually very good -it's corny, cliche Euro-metal, and that's kind of what makes it so awesome. Furthermore, I've picked my favorite arrangements of common tunes - artist matters!

Christmas / Sarajevo 12/24 by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Christmas Time Is Here by Sarah McLachlan
A Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives
Little Drummer Boy by Jars of Clay
You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch by Thurle Ravenscroft
Sleigh Ride by Ella Fitzgerald
Frosty the Snowman by Harry Connick, Jr.
Trepak by Tchiakovsky
Carol of the Bells by Westminster Choir
O Come All Ye Faithful by Third Day

Christmas Cynicism

Like a lot of people, I can be a little cynical about Christmas. It has nothing to do with the actual holiday, which I love. It has nothing to do with the traditions, which I enjoy; the movies, which I watch; the music, which I tolerate.

But like most Christmas curmudgeons, my problems are all with the way Christmas is marketed. You might think that I have a problem then with ad agencies, but I don't. Marketers are smart people and they tend to do what works. If the kind of marketing we have didn't appeal to the masses, then they wouldn't do it.

So like a true mistletoe misanthrope, I suppose I have problems with humanity.

Okay, not really.

--

I saw a commercial last night; I don't remember what it was for, but that's not important. Some lady was talking about how much her sister had done for her, how much she loved her sister. Then she said it:

"This year, I wanted to give her a gift that shows just how much I love her."

Well, I want to do that for the people I care about too! So I did some brainstorming - what gift can I give someone that will show them how much I love them? Here's what I came up with.

• A kidney.

It pretty much stopped there.

So don't worry mom. I love you more than a teapot's-worth. But I hope you like it anyway.

While Shepherds Kept their Watching...

Then a mighty angel picked up a boulder the size of a large millstone and threw it into the sea, and said: "With such violence the great city of Babylon will be thrown down, never to be found again." - Revelation 18:21

What if these angels were the ones that woke the shepherds from their slumber?

Whoa.

Did You Know...

It would be just as shocking - statistically speaking - for me to wind up pregnant tomorrow as it was for the Virgin Mary.

What If Christmas Was a Surprise?

For Mary, Christmas was a big surprise. I'm struck by that fact every time I read the story.

Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth, some shepherds in a field - all surprised, shocked, and utterly leveled by the news of this new thing that God was doing. And so, while we can retell the Christmas story in a sermon, we can recreate it in a drama or movie or song, and we can try to visualize it in a nativity scene, we can never ever capture the surprise that was inherent to the moment.

Think about it. Mary, a virgin, woke up pregnant. Luke 1 is full of it. Men are struck silent, fetuses are dancing in wombs. Matthew 1:20 tells us about the visit Joseph receives from an angel to explain the entire situation. (Angel speaking to God: "You want me to tell him WHAT?")

Then we find these shepherds watching their flocks by night. They're visited by a great company from the host of angels. Let's define that quickly - they were stirred from a peaceful slumber by a literal army of angles. I tend to freak out when my alarm accidentally goes off on a Saturday.

But because Christmas has become such a routine for us, it's hard for us to appreciate the allure and magic of the unseen moment that it used to be. What a surprise it must have been.

Decorating for Christmas

Now that Thanksgiving's over, it's time to get into the spirit of Christmas, I suppose. As a forward-thinking 21st Century Man, I decided to celebrate the way that is most appropriate for me. I drank a grande Christmas Blend from Starbucks and redesigned the calvaryunited.org website. Check it out.

www.calvaryunited.org

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Now playing: Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

It's Gone Too Far

While I was driving home from work last night at about 9:00, I did a little bit of station surfing with my car radio. As I ran across 93.1, I caught the tail end of "Jingle Bell Rock." Thinking this was a strange song choice for early October, I stuck around long enough for the Man with the Announcer Voice to fill me in about 93.1's 93 Days of Christmas. They'll literally be doing nothing but Christmas songs from now until Christmas. And then this happened:

"City sidewalks, busy side walks,
In the air there's a feeling of Christmas."

It's 85 degrees here right now.