The Tuna Train's Last Stop

People have "mentioned" that I should focus more on writing prose than incessant updates about my bicycle. That's fine, but don't expect me to look at pictures of your new goldfish. Can you ride a goldfish?*

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On March 18, the Houston Rockets lost to the Boston Celtics. Normally, this isn't a big deal, save for the fact that the Rockets had won their previous 22 games.

On March 23, Tiger Woods finished in fifth place in a golf tournament. Again, not a massive story, except Tiger Woods wins all the time. He'd won seven tournaments in a row.

Then, today, April 1, I ate pizza for lunch. This wouldn't be a national story (and let's be honest, it isn't), but it is notable because for fifty consecutive days, I've eaten tuna-on-toast. Call it an obsession, call it the cost of a bicycle, call it disgusting. But I did it.

And as the streak-breaking day winds to an end, I'm left wondering a few things:

1. How did Joe DiMaggio find the energy to drag himself to work on July 18, 1941?
2. How did Mr. Moyer find the strength to teach after his legendary streak was snapped by an assistant principal teacher review?
3. What in the world am I going to eat now?

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Fun facts about the Tuna Streak of '08:

• Number of Days: 50.
• Number of Days I Was Kind of Grossed-Out: 47.
• Money Saved (vs. foot-long sub from Subway): $270.00.
• Mercury Ingested: Enough to make me glow in the dark.
• Times complete strangers at the gym complained that my perspiration smelled like fish: 1, and let's be honest, once is enough.

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*No. No, you cannot. You cannot ride a goldfish.

Tuna Tracker Update

For the past couple weeks, I've eaten a tuna sandwich every day for lunch. No, that's not the most exciting way to start a blog. Yes, you can go read something else.

After two weeks of tuna, Todd made a little wager with me. He wanted to see just how long I could keep this ridiculous streak alive. Could I eat tuna every day through the end of March? April? The end of the summer?

So this was the deal - as long as I keep the streak alive, he's buying my tuna. The tuna tracker stands at fifteen days, and I've got a shelf full of tuna in my bookcase.

Frugal Tip for the Day

This will not become a regular feature. I promise.

I eat a tuna-on-toast sandwich every day for lunch. So, in the morning, I wrap two pieces of bread in Saran Wrap and toss those, along with a can of tuna into my satchel. That is not the frugal tip.

This is. After I toast the bread, I save the piece of Saran Wrap for the next day.

I Want to Ride It Where I Like

I am really not a very materialistic person. I've only really had object lust a couple of times in my life, although I'm sure my parents can think of a few more. For the most part, I'm pretty happy with what I've got.

Of course, there was the new computer I craved at Christmas 1998. I'm sure I was beyond unbearable at that particular holiday. (Sorry mom, dad.)

Then there was the new trumpet that I chased in summer 2003. In fairness, it did help me win a $2500 scholarship, so I finished "up" on that transaction. Other than that, I haven't really had that super-duper desire.

Until now.

This is the Cannondale Synapse Sport. I thought it would be a little creepy if I wrote an ode or poem to this glorious bicycle, so I resisted the significant temptation to do so.

It would literally replace my car (and gas usage) for six months of the year. And it's beautiful.

But here's what makes this craving different. It's the first significant object I've really, really wanted since becoming a fully-functioning adult. And so, I've got to earn it myself. I eat tuna-on-toast every day for lunch. Thoughts of this bicycle make the sandwich palatable - almost delicious.

I've given Starbucks the kibosh in favor of this bicycle. I've cut out eating out. I keep my house heated to 58 degrees, and I'm through with conditioner. I'm thinking about having a yard sale. I will walk your dogs, mow your lawn, clean your house, make you dinner, and I'll be happy about it because I'll be thinking about this bike. Just let me know when and where.

Then I wonder, what if all Christians followed God with this kind of devotion and abandon? After all, it's just a bicycle.